Friday, June 1, 2012


Come again? What do you mean you don't understand that title? Duh! It's so clearly obvious that 'ROTMFFLMMFAO' = 'Rolling On The Mother Fucking Floor Laughing My Mother Fucking Ass Off'

Who DOESN'T know that? Well, let's start with me! Okay, I'm not socially inept. But this shit's just getting out of hand.

Let me state the obvious that unless you're on bath salts (please don't eat my face), you're NOT actually 'ROTMFFLMMFAO' no matter how funny something may be. In reality, you likely just gave a good chuckle. This is false encouragement people! Please do not tell others that they are funnier than they really are. It encourages them to continue to try to be funny, post dumb shit and further annoy the masses, or primarily, ME! I'm not saying that the occasional shortened grouping of letters isn't okay... it totally is.. I'll throw out the tried and true 'LOL' every once in a while...  but that's mostly to help people understand that I'm JOKING when I post a smart-ass remark on their facebook, or through text.

Speaking of facebook ... you know what? Nevermind. I've got material for days about the ettiquete that SHOULD be followed on that site, versus the complete brainless, asinine, crap that people do. It'll have to wait for another time ... mmm'kay?

Why do I have such a problem with this particular acronym? Well, I don't. I hate them all. Including, but not limited to..

Acronym //  Translation // What the ever powerful, all mighty Wizard of Oz has to say about it...

1.     BFF - Best Friends Forever – Well, until that bitch stabs me in the back again.
2.     CYA - Cover Your Ass -or- See Ya – Cover your ass, because you’re making a stupid mistake right now!
3.     DBEYR - Don't Believe Everything You Read – Except this! Believe EVERYTHING that I say, and ignore the rest!
4.     DILLIGAS - Do I Look Like I Give A Sh** - How would I know what you look like? This is a fucking text dumbass!
5.     FTW – For The Win -   THIS one, I’ll allow as I use it myself on occasion
6.     GR8 – Great – Is it really that hard to type the other two fucking letters? What are you, a lisence plate?
7.     ILY - I Love You – Aw, I love you too. Now, get me a beer!
8.     IMHO - In My Humble Opinion – If you’re leading off with this, you’re anything but humble.
9.     J/K - Just Kidding – No, you’re not. That’s what you type when you’re telling it like it is, but don’t want to get jumped in the parking lot for it.
10.  L8R – Later – Please see Number 6.
11.  LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off – Literally? Get to the hospital NOW! And put that shit on ice! They may still be able to reattach. If not, RIP ass!
12.  LOL - Laughing Out Loud - Are you? Are you really?
13.  LYLAS - Love You Like A Sister –Typed, I’ll allow this from pre-pubescent girls, spoken aloud will result in a fork to your forehead!
14.  MHOTY - My Hat's Off To You – you’re not wearing a hat.. dick.
15.  NIMBY - Not In My Back Yard – what the fuck does this mean? Does this mean you don’t like anal sex? Really?
16.  NP - No Problem – I’ll allow this.
17.  OMG - Oh My God- *Please see editorial note below*
18.  OT - Off Topic – NO, new topic.. your topic blows cat chow chunks!
19.  POV - Point Of View - Mine's better than yours is! HA!
20.  RBTL - Read Between The Lines – Just say what you mean bitch!
21.  ROTFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off  … OMG PLS some1 kill me! THX.
22.  RT - Real Time – as opposed to….?
23.  THX or TX or THKS - Thanks
24.  SH - Shit Happens – Indeed, it does. Please see previous posting.
25.  SOL - Shit Out of Luck - I don't understand how this became a phrase in the first place. Shouldn't it read 'Shit! You're out of luck'?
26.  STBY - Sucks To Be You – frequently.
27.  TLC - Tender Loving Care – Don’t go chasing waterfalls
28.  TMI - Too Much Information –What’d you expect?
29.  TTYL - Talk To You Later - You've become boring. I must now move on to bigger and better. 
30.    WTF - What The Fuck - Possibly, the most allowable acronym. Please, continue to use this. Better yet, just spell it out. Everything is funnier when you curse! 

**Editorial Note Regarding OMG - A little back story on this particular acronym. First, I'm a very sarcastic person. (Say Whaaaattt???) And dry mocking of the sheep of the world is among my favorite ways to 'stick it to the man'. I often say things like OMG in conversation, in a sarcastic tone. In doing so, I'm not actually being serious, but mocking whatever the fuck you just said. 

Ex: You say something dumb like "It's hot out side today" 
      Me thinking - 'No shit, bitch? I hadn't noticed the river of sweat running between my boobs! Thank you ever so much for imparting your knowledge on me, for I would have never come to that conclusion on my own"! 
     I say - "OMG I KNOW"! 

The problem - as it turns out, my sarcastic voice sounds just like my everyday voice. So, many people jump to the conclusion that I, am one of those blonde idiots who uses phrases like this, when in reality, I'm basically calling you a moron to your face! You're just too fucking stupid to pick up what I'm laying down! 

In conclusion - don't be a douche. Spell it out, or just don't fucking say it. The world will thank you!


  1. LOVE this! Just fucking awesome and so true!!!

  2. Nothing says "I LOVE this" like a follow. Just Sayin'