Monday, June 4, 2012

Jesus does not have a facebook page.

First and foremost - do NOT e-mail me, talking shit about how I'm going to hell, or offering to pray for my salvation based on this post. I have nothing against Jesus. My religious preferences are none of your goddamn business, and have nothing, what so ever to do with this post. 

Now that the formalities are out of the way, I shall continue. Jesus does not have a facebook page. If you're one of those morons who 'shares' that shit, I fucking hate you with every fiber of my being. I'm talking about the following type of posts... (Not limited to) 

The shit I see // What it means to me

*Like if you believe in God. Keep Scrolling if you love the devil. // I'm just going to keep scrolling because you're a fucking tool, and I refuse to buy into your propaganda. 

*Like if you 'see' the image (Insert a pic of some ridiculously over-photo shopped pic of clouds, made out to look like nature magically created an image of the baby Jesus saving the world or, as believable, eating a Whopper Jr. with cheese, while smoking a joint with the caterpillar from Alice In Wonderland) 
 // Sheep say 'baaaaaaaaa'

--You see God's hands opening the heavens? I see God spreading his cheeks, so he can take a shit on us!

* Like if Jesus is your savior. // Yes, like this, while your profile pic is of you doing a keg-stand, topless, with 12 frat guys waiting in line to make you scream out the name of your savior. Whore. 
--Listed Jesus, praying, church, partying, dancing, etc. under 'interests'

This list could go on, but you get the picture. Don't be a douche people. Love your God, that's all fine and well. Just don't do it on my fucking facebook. 

I'd like to leave you with the following...


  1. When they revise the Ten Commandments to include the prohibition of rape and slavery.... maybe then I'll take Christianity seriously.

    1. Like I said, this has nothing to do with my religious connotations, and everything to do with the morons of facebook. There's a LOT of them, and I could dedicate an entire blog to the dumb shit they do. I'll spread it out a little though :)

  2. Can I just say I dig your irreverance and lack of boundaries! (Yeah, I know my spelling sucks, but "comments" lacks spell-check!)
    And thanks for pointing out what so many of us think! I have nothing against any specific religion, but "God" and a few other terms are scrolled past so fact my screen momentarily blanks out.
    Keep it up, Lady! The internet needs you!

  3. Thank you for this. Just thank you.

  4. Note, the Clouds are actually a famous shock image called Goatse, you don't want to see it.

  5. I wanna know what the fuck "Santans" are...and why are they compared to Jesus?! I'll just keep scrolling now.