Catch Me If You Can!

Ya ya ya... I know. I fucking KNOW alright?? I KNOW that I keep taking off for extended periods of time and then when I do finally come back, it's always with promise to do better.. N Shit. I know, guys. I suck. I'm sorry. Let the flogging begin.

I really have been meaning to catch up for Oh! So very long now and I always get hung up. Either I'm inspired and dont have the time, or I have time but my brain is all drippy n shit, or I decided to just get laid instead. Don't hate here. If given the chance to get taken to D-Town, y'all would choose to work on your vitamin D deficiency, too! See what I did there? Vitamin D = Penis!! Yes, I'm still brilliant.

It's been pretty much same old same old on this end of the screen as of late. Still rocking #momoftheyear. For instance, I told the 13 year old not once, but TWICE to stop being such a dick today. I'm still poking people with sharp objects for a living. Luckily for me, I took a new position in a new hospital a little over a year ago and as such, my finger to anus ratio has gone like WAY down. It's been a nice reprieve. I still have a best friend who makes your best friend look like discarded tampons. (The used ones. Eeeewww) And I'm still dating. That part has actually taken a turn for the better as of the last 8 months or so. He is awesome. He is my person. He has a huge cock. Life is good.

Other than all that boring hooplah I'm still having series of random randomery while fighting "The Man" and world hunger N Shit. My temper has calmed down a bit. Blame Sir Cocks A Lot for that one. Only I can manage to find someone just as fucked up as me who will CLEARLY just take all my bad habits and make them worse... but then somehow the fucker manages to accidentally calm my shit the fuck down. I feel so cheated.

I do still occasionally act out a bit. I WANT to tell yall a really really good one about the time I went to see Fifty Shades Of Grey for Valentines Day, got tanked in the theater, made an ass out of myself and spent 3 days apologizing...but it's just  been brought to my attention that well, this shit isnt anonymous anymore. Fuck! When did people I KNOW start reading this?? Bullshit, I tell you! Anywho... I think I might have to switch this up a bit. Maybe start fresh with a new domain?? Transfer all the really good shit over somewhere else and then REALLY let loose in a manor that I havent been able to do thus far..for fear of being fired or all my friends and family telling me to go fuck myself. Yes, yes kiddies... it actually gets a lot LOT worse. You've been reading the censored version. Don't you feel all shitty inside now? Ya... 

So that's my new plan. Sorry, peeps.. I'm moving on.. thanks for the love, the shit talk, the audience  ... Catch me if you can!!